Beginning Today

Yes! I’m over you! It took me almost two years to finally say that I am over you. Two years to say that I’m ready to move on, ready to start a life without you. And be able to live life to the fullest, like I’ve always done, before you even came into my life. But am I really ready to fall and be hurt again? Be ready to trust my heart to another?

It’s a very tough thing to do, somehow I knew that deep inside, love isn’t dead for me that I still believe in love; that I found myself smiling and thinking that I now learned so many new things about love. That, after all what I’ve been through with you, I am willing to love and be loved in return.

The one shining light of hope for me was him. He showed me that I shouldn’t lose my faith in love, that loving someone deeply, freely, unconditionally was the best thing there is. He was the only one who can make me smile even when everything fell apart. How can I not see these before? How can I miss that? Maybe because, I have to experience all that I’ve been through with you before I can truly appreciate the beauty there is in love.

Love... the one thing he’s never ashamed to say to me. He told me that at least a thousand times before, mostly indirectly, but I kept on pretending that he didn’t. He was the guy that you never were. The guy I thought only exists in dreams and movies and books that I often read and wished upon. He is the epitome of a hopeless romantic for my generation. He & I have so much in common.

Funny thing is, whenever I am with him, I feel so free, so alive... not a care in the world... only the two of us exists. I never felt guilty whenever I was with him. In fact, I think I would have shouted to the whole world, that this guy, this man, loves me so dearly, unconditionally... despite of all the consequences that came our way, the complications that you brought upon me. He was the only person here, now that makes me sane.

I can’t believe that despite the distance the he and I have, he still managed to tickle me in the sweetest romantic way. He would utter the most sincere, sweetest, loving words that usually make me smile and feel so loved and desired. I don’t think I’ll ever pass any chance just to be with him. He was the only one who sang to me. He sings songs that make the both of us long for each other; songs that meant so much for us that makes us want to take back what was lost between us.

For now, I know that what we have decided is the best thing we could ever do. No need to rush into things... mainly because we both want to be careful this time. Maybe deep inside we both feel that when the timing is right we will find the love we were looking for. The love that we have for each other grows stronger each day. And patience is a virtue that I promised my self that I would practice. I don’t want to rush into things... I want everything to be right... perfect.

Just like the man I want to meet at the end of the aisle. The walk that I will venture will be the most memorable one. When I knew that the man that I would meet at the end, will be the one who will accept me for who I am. And will respect all my thoughts and feelings, and would love me more than I will ever know... my soul mate... my destiny.... my one true love.

Inside Joko Jun

Joko Jun features Filipinos from around the world... musicians, writers, photographers, and other creative people.